


Goodbye, James

by Drowned_in_Feels



Category: The End Of The Fucking World (TV)
Genre: Alyssa's POV, Continuation, F/M, James Dies, Post-Canon, Swearing, TEOTFW - Freeform, brief suicide mention, spoiler warning, this is basically what happens directly after the last episode, this is not a happy fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-06 05:55:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13404864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drowned_in_Feels/pseuds/Drowned_in_Feels
Summary: A continuation of what happens directly after the end of series 1 because this is how I cope with that sort of ending.~contains spoilers for series 1 (obviously)~





	Goodbye, James

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, I can't handle open endings and I loved the show so I wrote down how I imagined the story would go on (realistically).
> 
> Please note: English is not my native language, I apologise for every spelling, grammar or punctuation mistake I might have made.

James died exactly five hours after smacking Alyssa in the face with a shotgun and running away across the mudflats. Alyssa wanted to follow him; no matter what they would do, they would do it together but she was being held down by two policemen. She was struggling and tried to wind herself out of their tight grip but she had no chance. Helplessly, she watched as one of the policemen, who were streaming onto the beach like a wave, raised his gun and aimed at James. He had already fired one shot before that had missed his leg just by a few inches. She could see in his face that he wasn't planning on missing again.

She heard the shot. She saw James' back arching in response. She watched him fall flat onto the mudflats. Some policemen were running after him. She screamed in frustration. She wanted to run to him, help him, make sure he wasn't hurt but the men that were holding her down did not loosen their grasp.

In awe, Alyssa saw how James miraculously got up and continued running. He briefly looked over his shoulder, spotted the policemen coming after him and tried accelerating his pace but as far as Alyssa could tell, the pain in his back was holding him back.

He didn't make it much further. The policemen caught up with him and upon them grabbing him, James collapsed to the ground once more.

Alyssa was far away from him, on the beach, but she could see him trying to fight them. He was just a tiny blob in the distance but she watched him pushing the policemen away, beating them, kicking them. Eventually, his movements slowed down until he wasn't moving anymore at all.

They brought him to a hospital. As they were loading him into an ambulance, Alyssa was moved towards a police car, her hands handcuffed behind her back.

“Let me come with him”, she didn't ask them for a favour, she said it like an order.

“I'm sorry, we can't do that.” It was a tall, black policewoman that answered her.

She repeated her demand, louder this time and firmer. The policewoman simply shook her head no. And it was the simplicity of that response that made Alyssa lose it. It wasn't like she was just asking for a piece of gum or something as trivial as that. James meant something to her. She didn't _want_ to go with him, she _had_ to.

Alyssa tried to break free from the two policemen that were guiding her towards the car. Her handcuffs weren't making that very easy. She screamed and cursed and threw every insult that she knew at the policewoman's head. She managed to elbow one of the men that were holding her into his stomach but it didn't get her anywhere since the other man simply tightened his grasp. She turned to him and screamed in his face, her hair flying wildly around her head. His face seemed slightly frightened but he still wouldn't let go of her when she pulled away from him.

“Get her in the car”, the policewoman ordered.

She mustered all of her strength in order to escape but there were just to many policemen. As she was moved towards the car she saw the ambulance driving off. “No! No, no, no, no, no!” She called out James' name but it did no good.

When she found herself in the back of the police car, she felt something drop onto her chest. How could it be raining if she was inside of a car? It was only then that she realised that she was, in fact, crying.

James died a few hours later in the hospital. They told her when they had her locked up in a cell at the nearest police station. They said it was an accident. That the guy who shot him was aiming for his leg to slow him down and catch him. That he didn't want to shoot him in the back. To damage his organs. To have him die from his wounds, alone in a cold hospital bed.

Why did it matter that it was 'an accident'? He was killed, who cares if it was intended or not? Alyssa didn't know how to react. How to feel. Deep inside, she knew that she should be crying, that she should be mourning but she just felt empty.

James had wanted to hand themselves in to the policewoman that talked to them in her dad's trailer. He had wanted to stop running, to avoid more trouble. But that would have meant that they wouldn't be together anymore. They would have gone to separate prisons. And Alyssa didn't want that. What she wanted was to be with James. She had risked it all, just to be with him and now she would never be with him again. She realised that it was her fault.

They wanted to question her about everything that had happened in the last couple of days. Alyssa couldn't believe that it had only been a few days, it felt like so much longer. All the time she has spent with James, she felt like she had known him for years, not only for less than a week.

Two policewomen were sitting in front of her. The tall black bitch that wouldn't let her go with James and the other one that had talked to them in the trailer. They wanted to know what had happened but Alyssa didn't know what she should say. On the beach, James had instructed her to tell them that he kidnapped her, made her come with him. That he was behind everything: the running away, the breaking in, the robbery, and of course the murder. If she didn't do what he asked her to do, she would basically be disregarding his last wish but Alyssa had never been good at doing what she was told. And most importantly, she didn't want James to be buried as a criminal for crimes he hadn't committed. Or at least hadn't committed alone.

“You want to know what happened?”, Alyssa sat up straight in her chair. “James and I were fed up with every fucker in that boring-ass town and wanted to get away. So we punched James' dad in the face, stole his car and ran it against a tree. A paedophile gave us a lift and we stole his wallet. Then we broke into Clive Koch's house and when he came back from his holidays and tried to fucking rape me, James stuck a knife into his throat, in self-defence. We changed our appearance, I stole from a charity shop, then we hot-wired another car and robbed a petrol station. But to be fair, we had help from a clerk called Frodo but I'm sure you've already talked to that moron. When our car broke down, we walked the rest of the way to my dad's who is a fucking drug dealer by the way, and a shit dad.” She was quiet for a moment, reflecting on whether she had forgotten anything. “I think you know the rest.” She leant back and crossed her arms.

The room fell silent. Alyssa felt a tear rolling down her cheek so she quickly wiped it away. She realised that they probably hadn't known about her dad's drug business until now. He would probably get in trouble now but she couldn't care less.

They had more questions, of course, and Alyssa answered them honestly. When they were done, they told her that there would be some sort of trial but since she had confessed her crimes, it would be a short one. She would probably go to juvenile prison for being an accessory to manslaughter but they couldn't tell her for how long.

Alyssa didn't really care about any of that. She felt like she should care but she just didn't. Her thoughts were with James. She wanted him next to her during this questioning. She wanted him to go to prison with her. But he was dead. And that realisation was carving a great black hole into her soul and made everything else seem irrelevant.

When she was reunited with her mum and her stepdad, her mum was delighted to see her. She gave her a hug. Alyssa couldn't remember the last time her mum had given her a hug. Her stepdad didn't seem too happy to see her but at least he didn't say anything.

Alyssa didn't know how she should feel about her mum, now that she knew that she had been the one sending her birthday cards every year, and not her dad. She still despised her but maybe, in her own weird way, she was somehow trying to be a good mother. However, Alyssa was glad that she didn't have to live with her anymore, once she went to prison.

She had requested to go to the funeral and after some hesitation, they allowed it. James' dad and Alyssa were the only attendees; a police car was parked nearby, to pick her up and just in case she would try to run off.

James' dad, Phil, was crying the entire time. Maybe she should have tried to comfort him but first of all, she didn't know how, and secondly, she was the one needing comfort.

In a very short period of time, James had managed to mean more to her than everyone else that she had ever known. Until she met him, she didn't even know that was possible. He had made her feel happy. And now, he was gone and he had taken her happiness with him. Not only that, he had taken all of her emotions with him. Theses days, Alyssa didn't feel anything. She knew she should feel devastated by James' death. She should feel angry about going to prison. She should be throwing tantrums, screaming, crying, having a mental breakdown, just all in all being a mess. But she just didn't feel anything.

Alyssa knew that she should also feel sorry for James' dad. His sobs were becoming quite distracting from her own misery. But then she remembered what a massive twat he was. To be fair, he did just lose the last remaining member of his family. First his wife committed suicide, then his son got shot by the police; he wasn't exactly lucky with his family's fate. Although Alyssa still didn't like him, she thought that maybe, just like her mum, he was trying to be a good parent. He was shit at it, yes, but he did give James a hunting knife for his birthday when he wanted one and he didn't call the police right away when they stole his car. So he kind of didn't deserve what happened to him but then again no one ever gets what they deserve. Alyssa thought that if she were Phil, she would probably kill herself.

Eventually, she couldn't listen to this grown man crying anymore without starting to cry herself so she decided to leave. She stepped towards the fresh grave and knelt down. “Goodbye, James”, she whispered. She knew that when she stood up and left, this would be a goodbye forever. Alyssa wasn't quite ready for that yet but the universe hadn't given her a choice. So she stood up, turned her back to the grave and walked towards the police car that was waiting for her.

When she was sitting in the car, hunched in the back seat, hiding behind the front seats, she started contemplating the future. She would go to juvenile prison, alone, without James. Even when she would get out of there again, she would still be alone. So what was the point of getting out? Or the point of going there in the first place? There was none. And then she realised that that applied not only to prison, but to her whole life.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. :)  
> Please, leave some feedback!


End file.
